Are you looking for your Prince Charming? (The Heart)

Recently I spoke to a group of middle/high school girls on a topic that is near and dear to my heart.  The title of my workshop was… “How to find your Prince Charming and keep him.”   We talked about how to find our “happily ever after” and how we can plan ahead now for an incredible future. 

I reminded them that it is the choices we make today that determines our future tomorrow.   We need to make wise decisions.  Our focus was concerning boys.   I had a lot of fun teaching.  Hopefully I was able to give the girls some things to think about.

This is Part 2 from that teaching…  Check out Part 1 HERE.

READY YOUR HEART

Somewhere out there YOUR Prince Charming is praying for YOU… his Cinderella.  I bet he is thinking about what kind of woman “he” wants to marry some day and is imagining what SHE will be like… what YOU will be like.

With that in mind, I have a question for you… What kind of woman are you planning to give your future husband?  What kind of woman will you be?  It can’t be all about how beautiful you are… which you are of course!!!!  There has to be more to you than that.  Think about it...

What does your heart look like on the inside?  Does it need some work?  Is it pretty?

“I think the MOST important thing you can do to prepare yourself

 for your Prince Charming is to place God at the

CENTER of your heart and keep Him there.”

I’m not talking about being religious or simply being good either… it’s about having a personal relationship with God.  It’s about YOU allowing God to have complete control of your life and asking Him to direct your steps… day by day.

When God is at the center of YOUR heart and He is at the center of your PRINCE CHARMING’S heart, then He will be at the CENTER of your marriage!  That is one marriage that will be solid to the core, growing stronger year by year.

MY MARRIAGE

My husband, Al Davis, and I have been married for 23 years now.  Having God at the center of each of our hearts personally and in our marriage has made all the difference.

We’ve been through some very difficult seasons in our marriage.  I have had some serious health issues and scares over the years which has created a lot of stress for us.  My husband has been amazing through it all.  He has carried me through, kept me focused on God, and stuck by my side no matter what life threw our way.  I am blessed!

He is an awesome man of God… a spiritual leader for our family with incredible faith that inspires us all.  He always keeps a smile on my face and makes my heart happy. My love for him has only grown deeper and stronger over the years.

Let me tell you a secret… When I met my husband way back in college he was on fire for God.  He LOVED God and everyone knew it.  There was evidence!  I observed his relationship with God (when he wasn't looking) and discovered it was real and personal.  I longed for what he had.

Do you want to know something else?  He’s the same person today as he was back then… well, maybe a little older.  God is STILL first place in his life (at the center of his heart)… which is awesome!  That means Al Davis, with God’s help will become the BEST person he can be.... giving me an even more incredible husband as the years go by as he stays connected to God.

The same should be true of me, right?  I need to have an on-going, growing relationship with God so I can become the BEST “Me” I can be for my Prince Charming.  He deserves that!

You need to make it your mission this year (for all you single ladies) to chase God MORE than you are any guys around you.  Be on the look out for those guys that love God and there is evidence to prove it.  They are treasures to be found!

I heard it said before that you should…

“Run as fast as you can towards God and if

someone keeps up, introduce yourself.”

Marrying a godly man makes a difference gals!  Don’t go for the guy who just goes to church or kinda lives for God.  Find the guy who is on fire for God!  He will be the one who STAYS on fire for God all throughout your marriage.  Godly men will treat you right... ladies.  They are worth the wait!

The man you marry some day needs to be as much in love with God as he is with you.  The same should be true for you...  YOU should love God more than any man in your life.  This won’t guarantee your marriage will be perfect, but it will guarantee your love will grow stronger as you continue to keep God at the center.

Let this be your goal…

“Your heart needs to be so hidden in God that 
a man has to seek Him just to find you.” 
 – Maya Angelou

How can you KEEP your Prince Charming when you find him?

Matthew 6:33 says…

“Seek first God’s kingdom and what God wants.  Then all your other needs will be met as well.” (NCV)

When God is at the CENTER of your heart and marriage, your man won’t be going anywhere.  Nobody will ever compare to the incredible woman you become with God at the center of your heart and life.

  

The best gift you can give your future Prince Charming is 

the BEST you that you can be… God at the center makes all the difference!  

If God isn’t at the center of your heart today, I challenge you to make some changes.  Talk to Him about it and commit your life to Him completely.  Tell a friend, get a Bible and start reading it (I like the New Living or New Century versions of the Bible.  The book of John is a great place to start reading.), find a church, and begin BECOMING who God created you to be today.  A life totally committed to God is a life you will never regret!

Be watching for the final post in this series coming soon (Part 3... The Lock & Key)

Living to leave a legacy,

Julie

Are you looking for your Prince Charming? (The List)

Recently I spoke to a group of middle/high school girls on a topic that is near and dear to my heart.  The title of my workshop was… “How to find your Prince Charming and keep him.”   We talked about how to find our “happily ever after” and how we can plan ahead now for an incredible future. 

I reminded them that it is the choices we make today that determines our future tomorrow.   We need to make wise decisions.  Our focus was concerning boys.   I had a lot of fun teaching.  Hopefully I was able to give the girls some things to think about.

Since this has been on my heart lately, I thought I would share it with YOU… my single lady friends.  I know you hate that word… “SINGLE”.  It’s not a bad word friend.  I see it as being “disconnected” from guys (for a season) so you can be fully “connected” to God…. not that guys are bad.  When you are FULLY connected to God, He can do so many amazing things in and through you like no other time in your life.  Savor those moments.

So here goes… Here are some of the secret truths I shared with the gals at my workshop.  I hope you will be challenged and blessed as you read.

Let’s dream a little bit.  Ten years from now where will you be?  What will you be doing?  How old will you be?  Will you be married?  Have kids?  Where will you live?  What will some of your accomplishments be?  What will be important to you?  Where will God fit into your life ten years from now?

For some of you these questions may have been hard to answer while for others it was a piece of cake.  The point in asking all theses questions was to get you thinking about your future.  God has an amazing future planned for you!  Do you believe it?  Well… He does!

Everyone wants to live “Happily Ever After”, right?  We all want to find and keep our Prince Charming, but how can we really do that?  I have a few ideas that may help you out as you are planning ahead.

MAKE A LIST

How can we find our Prince Charming?  Well, first we need to figure out WHO we are looking for.  What does your Prince Charming look like?  You can start by making a list of qualities you want in the man of your dreams.   Let me give you some ideas… tall, dark, handsome, strong growing Christian, perfect gentleman, funny, smells good, etc…

If you are currently dating someone, it’s going to be harder for you to make a dream list.  Do you know why?  Well, for some odd reason you might be a little biased.  This could alter your list.  Don’t worry, dating doesn’t disqualify you from the things I will be sharing about finding your Prince Charming.  There are still some things you can do to work on your list.  I will be sharing more on this later.

Once you have the majority of your list written, look it over.  Do MOST of these qualities have to do more with the INSIDE or OUTSIDE of your Prince Charming?  Which do you think would be more important?

I want to encourage you to do something crazy when it comes to looking for your Prince Charming with your wish list in hand.  Flip flop your search criteria.  Instead of focusing all on the outside, do the INSIDE OUT search.  Look at the hearts of prospective guys FIRST.

I Samuel 16:7 says… “People look at the outside of a person, but the Lord looks at the heart.”  (NCV)

What’s on the INSIDE of us matters!

But what about attraction and hotness… don’t they matter?  Of course they do, but not as much as what’s on the inside.  When the hotness wears off and what is on the inside shines through, what will you see?

Before I met my husband, I dated a lot of jerks.  For that reason, I chose to “observe” guys more from afar for awhile.  I observed my husband quite a bit.  I was trying to catch a glimpse of his inner qualities and heart without him knowing it.  I wanted to see what was really on the inside with out him trying to impress me and it worked!  

I found lots of godly qualities I liked... his passion for God, he was a person of integrity, he was kind and sweet, compassionate, full of life (joy), he forgave quickly and said he was sorry when something was his fault, he had a gentle spirit with me, he was giving, had a servant's heart, was bold, fearless, full of faith, and on and on. The inside out search I did reaped great results.  I was very pleased with this boy!

For those who are currently dating, I want to challenge you to OBSERVE… observe how he talks to his momma (it’s how he may talk to you some day if you get married.), observe what kind of people he hangs around, how he talks to others, what he talks about MOST, and what he likes to do in his free time.  These will give you glimpses into his heart.

My Story

Just after my senior year of high school, I was inspired to write my own wish list for the man of my dreams.  Actually I wrote it more out of offense than inspiration if you really want to know.

One Sunday I heard a bunch of younger girls at my church talking about how they had made “their” Prince Charming wish list at a slumber party.  I was a tad bit offended.  “…how dare they make a list about their future spouse when clearly I was closer to getting married than they were...”

That night I set a date with my best friend to have a slumber party of our own so we could make our own list.  My friend wrote out my list (while I daydreamed about it) and I wrote down hers.  We stayed up as late as it took to get everything written down.  When we were all done, I had a whopping 64 things written down on my list!!!  (I guess I was picky in my young age… LOL).  I later narrowed down my list to 50 things.  I used it as a guide to match prospective guys up to it using initials, fractions, and the date to camouflage true identities.

Later when my husband and I started dating seriously I matched him up to my list and you will never guess what he scored.   He scored 49 out of 50! What’s crazy is that it totally could have been 50 out of 50 easily… it just would have cost him a little money… LOL. 

As I was thinking about a potential future with Al Davis, God reminded me of something.  At the top of my wish list it said “PERFECT” Spouse list.  God wanted me to know that He gave me everything I ever wanted in Al Davis, but I needed to remember that he wasn’t perfect.  This was one of the ways God confirmed to me that “HE” was the one for me.

I want to encourage you to MAKE A LIST and use it as a prayer guide for your future mate.

I started praying for my future husband my senior year of high school BEFORE I ever made a list.  I heard someone at my youth group mention how we should do it so I started.  I prayed God would protect him, keep him safe, and if he didn’t know God that he would be drawn to Him.  I prayed as God directed me. 

I found out years later when I met my husband that it was our senior year of high school (we are the same age) that he attempted to take his own life.  One night he had determined that he was going to drive his car over a steep ravine and end it all.  That night he set out to do it, but at the last minute he changed his mind.  He slammed his brakes and turned the car quickly leaving a huge mark on the side of his car from the side rail.  He instead drove to a church down the road, talked to a youth pastor there, and gave his life to God.  Thank you Jesus!  I honestly believe it was my prayers that made a difference that day!

What’s going on with YOUR Prince Charming?  What could you begin now praying for him about?  Start praying now for your future spouse.  Your prayers make a difference!  Mine did!   

Start looking around you for godly men with amazing hearts.  They are out there friends.  Do your search from the INSIDE OUT!  You won’t be sorry.

How can you find your Prince Charming… MAKE A LIST!  

Why don't you get your paper out and start writing now.

To find out more tips on "How to find your Prince Charming"... be watching for the next post coming soon (Part 2... The Heart).

Living to leave a legacy,

Julie

#THANKFUL

Today I visited my neurologist.  It felt like a visit, but it was really just a check up.  Before I left he introduced me to someone at the front as “the one who brings him chocolate.”  I asked… “Am I the only one who brings this to you?”  He paused for a minute, thought, and then said… “Yes.”

I admit it.  I do spoil my doctor with chocolate and a Diet Coke each time I have an appointment.  Why do I do it?  Well, because I am thankful. 

I’m thankful for all he does to keep me well.  When I first came to see him probably 8 years ago I was really bad.  I had no energy.  I was very weak and could barely walk or talk because of the autoimmune disease I struggle with (It’s Myasthenia Gravis for the curious ones).  In a month’s time after first seeing him, my life turned around drastically.  New medicines and procedures had made all the difference.  I was thankful!

On one visit with him some time in the past, I noticed he was having a bad day.  I don’t know what happened.  Maybe too many complaining people were getting to him or he missed lunch… Who knows?  All I knew was that I was thankful and I didn’t feel like I was showing it. 

On that visit I asked the nurses what some of my doctor’s favorite snack and beverages were…I scribbled them down on a piece of paper and tossed it into my purse.  The next time I came in I was prepared to be thankful.  At that appointment I brought a special treat… an assortment of chocolate and a Diet Coke.  He was shocked and pleased all at once.  I guess nobody had ever done that before… be thankful and show it!   I’ve been doing it ever since. 

I want to live in a state of thankfulness!  There are enough people whining in the world about what they don’t have, can’t do, or are stuck with.  I want to be different!  How about you?

“In everything give thanks…”

1 Thess. 5:18 (NLV)

Are you thankful?  Is there some special way you can show that thankfulness to others?  Get creative and watch God work through you as you walk in thankfulness!

Living to leave a legacy, 

Julie

RE: Start (My 2017 Plan)

Can you believe 2016 is almost over?  A new year will begin soon.  New… a fresh page, a brand new start, a do-over if you will… a chance to make things right, finish what you started, and become intentional about all of those things you’ve been putting off.  It’s our own personal restart.

I challenge you to do something crazy in 2017… become intentional.   Do something!  Make a list, set a goal, and make it your own personal aim to do SOMETHING this year.  Even if it’s just ONE thing… start and finish it.

I know, I know… New Year’s resolutions can get old.  We always set these lofty goals and then fail.  I’m just saying set a ton of goals if you want, but let your aim be to just complete ONE.  If you do that, then you have made one step forward in 2017 toward where you wanted to be.  Hey if you knock out more than one, then way to go, you crazy overachiever!

 

Just so it’s out there and I have something to shoot for, here are some of My personal goals…
(Note:  Set goals that fit where YOU are and where you want to be by the end of the year.  Not everyone’s goals will look the same.  Pray and ask God to help you set your own God-sized goals to reach for.)

My word is … “Intentional”

Each year I try to choose a word or phrase to focus on throughout the year to keep me pushing forward toward my goals.  Last year it was “Baby Steps”… My health kept holding me back from doing what I really wanted to do, but I determined to just do what I could one step at a time with God’s help.  The year before my word was “Thrive”.  I wanted to go beyond just surviving in all areas of my life to Thriving.

Next year I want to become INTENTIONAL… do things on purpose.  I want to take time and make time for people… especially “My People”. 

My boys will be graduating before I know it so I want to savor the moments I have with them.  Life is busy, but I still want to continue to build my relationship with my husband too.  After 23 years of marriage, I want to continue to date my boyfriend for life.

I want to take time to invest in others.  I want to leave a legacy behind of someone who loved God and loved others.  I want to encourage, equip, and share my life with those around me… the good, bad, and ugly.

For that reason I have determined to mentor three women this year in their walk with God.  Not that I think I have everything figured out or feel I have reached perfection.  Ummm… not even close.  I just want a chance to share my imperfect life with others in hopes that maybe just maybe they might grow from what I’ve learned.

I want my life to catch fire for God… I want to be re-ignited this year!  I want to hunger for MORE of Him.  I want to devour His word and soak in His presence.  I want to hear His voice more clearly and act on His promptings radically.  

Specifically, I want to begin studying the Old Testament this year.  I’ve read the New Testament a million times, but I really want to dig deeper into the old this year. 

I also want to make a prayer wall… a place to collect specific needs I can be praying for concerning others. 

I want to get out of my comfort zone.  I want to find places where I can surround myself with lost people (who don’t know God) and shine God’s light to be a bold witness for Him.

On a lighter note I want to get in shape and lose weight.  My health condition hinders this element of my New Year’s resolutions or goals quite a bit, but I want to try.

I also want to read books for fun this year (at least ONE a month).

As far as writing goes, I want to finish my book.  I don’t know why I haven’t.  It could be all the moves we have made, my random health struggles, the busyness of life, etc… whatever the reasoning for the delay who knows.  I’m just ready to complete what I started… finally!

I also want to submit several articles to various places for publication and write a 30 day e-book devotional.

These are just a few of my random goals.  If I take my own advice and just complete ONE thing this year, I will be one step closer to where I wanted to be at the start of the year. 

What if that one thing is mentoring someone in their walk with God or losing weight or finishing my book (Yes, please!!!) or making a prayer wall…  That ONE thing that I start and finish could make all the difference in my year!

Let’s start 2017 with our eyes focused on finishing SOMETHING.  I’m excited to see what that ONE thing will be for me and for you!

Living to leave a legacy,

Julie

An Open Letter to Key Influencers (in my boys’ lives)

Being a parent is hard… well harder than I thought.  I’m not sure what I was thinking parenting would look like, but this isn’t it. 

I remember when the boys were little holding them tight vowing to protect them from EVERYTHING.  My job as a mom was to keep them safe… right?  It’s really easy to keep them safe INSIDE your house.  It’s when you step outside into the real world that it really gets hard.

It’s a full time job… this keeping our kids safe thing.  Safe from what you might ask?  Well, when I signed up to be a mom I committed to do something.  I didn’t just want to raise good little boys; I wanted to raise strong, godly men.  This whole raising “men” thing takes a lot of time, commitment, and hard work.  It isn’t easy, but it is well worth it! 

My husband and I determined when the boys were little that it was

 “Our job” to protect their hearts and minds until they were

old enough to do it for their selves.

That would mean we would need to be their filter for what they watched, listened to, who they hung around, and where they would go.  We knew it wouldn’t be easy, but we were determined to take “our job” seriously. 

In the process of being their filter, we decided in addition to share with them the “Why’s” of our decisions.  Hearing how we came to our decisions, would help them learn how to process things for themselves in the future.

I’m not an overprotective parent as some may think, I just CARE a lot!  My boys are precious to me.  I want to hold them close and keep them safe... forever!  I don’t want them to be hurt in any way ever if I can help it. 

I remember when my youngest went to Kindergarten.  My oldest was just in first grade.  Against my better judgment, the boys rode the bus to school.  They actually begged to do so. 

We lived in a small town so elementary through high school rode the same bus.  I remember that first day of school.  My husband and I walked our boys to the bus stop and waited… a ball of raging emotions bursting inside of us.  Tears threatened to run free, fear started to bubble, and peace was evaporating at a rapid speed as the bus pulled up.

As they loaded the bus and found their seats, my heart sunk deep into my chest.   It was painful.  I had flashbacks from "MY" many years on the school bus (Which were horrible!) and I wondered…Will the bus driver drive safely? Will the other kids be nice to my baby boys?  Will the older kids bully them?  How could I keep them safe when they weren’t with ME?  It was scary.  I had to trust God and pray.  They were out of my hands now and into His. 

“I was in a scary place of surrender and I didn’t like it.”

Have you ever been there friend?  In that place where you have to trust others with your kids or you have to trust your kids to make right decisions on their own with out YOU?  It’s scary…. and painful.  I do NOT like it... probably mostly because it’s all out of my control.  I can’t protect them the way my heart longs to do so.

For some reason it seems as my boys have grown older, I have had to trust God and others MORE with their care…Teachers, Administration, Coaches, Other Parents, Youth leaders, Church Members, Neighbors, Employers, and Family Members.

Will they love and protect their hearts and minds like we do?  Will they build them up, encourage them, and help them feel safe? Will they see potential, speak life, and give courage?

Since I can’t keep them babies forever, this is my open letter to all key influencers in my boys’ lives.  Please, please, hear my heart on the matter…

There are a few things I would LOVE for you to do concerning my boys.

1.  TAKE NOTICE

Please see them individually for the incredible, awesome young men they are.  Don’t lump them in a crowd or expect them to be like everyone else.  They aren’t.  Don’t ignore them, acknowledge them.

Wherever they are, they draw a crowd… their peers take notice, will YOU?

Trey is my baby, but he has acted like my first born since he could talk.  At one point he wanted to be the oldest so bad that he stole his brother’s birthday.  When I would ask him when his birthday was he would always say… “June 24^th”.  He memorized his brother’s birthday at 3 years old thinking just saying it would make him older!  When he learned he wouldn’t get any presents if he didn’t know his own birthday, things changed quickly.  LOL.

Trey is a quiet, passionate boy… He is loud in small groups, yet quiet in crowds.  He loves deeply and cares more than he lets on.  He is competitive and aggressive when it comes to sports and life.  He is funny, creative, an amazing artist, and a deep thinker.  He has a strong will, yet a tender heart.  He is a ball full of energy… hiding secretly inside a quiet young man.  He is passionate about God and sports.  He has great influence, yet chooses to lead in a quiet way.  He loves the Colts, Pacers, and all things basketball.  He is an amazing young man of God.

Gavyn is my first born.  He is my fearless, bold, radical!  He is passionate about everything… especially God.  He loves to worship Him in song.  I remember when the boys were in elementary school waiting for them to come home from school.  No matter what I was doing, I could hear them coming a block away…Gavyn loved to serenade the neighborhood loudly on his walk home.

Gavyn is tenderhearted, giving, sensitive to the needs of others, encouraging, and a natural born leader.  He loves deeply and gives everything his all.  He has strong convictions and solid character.   He is creative, humble, and has a servant’s heart.

He has a care-free spirit and easy going kind of personality.  He loves to read, go backpacking, fish, play football, and basketball.   He is an amazing young man of God.

When you take time to NOTICE them, you see there is more than meets the eye. They may blend in with the crowd at times, but they stand out with me.  I am blessed to be their momma!

2.  BUILD THEM UP

Even though they “look” like MEN, my boys are still impressionable.  They are young men in the making.  Their self-esteems are being shaped and formed by those around them… one of those people being YOU. 

Will you…

Be positive

They hear enough bad stuff all around them…Whether it’s from the news, people saying negative comments or from their own inner thoughts.  Will you look for the good in them and share it?  Even if they have done a million things “wrong”, will you find that one good thing they did “right” to encourage them with?

“Negativity deflates the spirit, life giving words ignite it.”

Will you speak life-giving words to my boys? 

Will you make an effort to help BUILD their self-esteem (along with me) instead of tear it down?  It’s fragile, delicate, a work in progress.

Give courage

The world is full of nay-sayers… coming up with all kinds of reasons why we CAN’T do things.  I want my boys to dream big and be confident that with God all things are possible. 

Please don’t squash their dreams.  Help give their dreams wings enabling my boys to believe God for impossible things trusting Him with the outcome.

Will you give them courage?   Will you build them up and help them dream big?

3.  LEAD WELL

As a key influencer in my boys’ lives, please set a good example and lead well.  They are watching, listening, and learning from your leadership.

They are following you… as a leader.  

I Corinthians 11:1 says… “Follow me as I follow Christ” 

If they are following you, I have a question for you.  Where are you leading them?    I hope to become more like Christ… in words, attitude, and behavior.

Whether we like it or not… when it comes to being a good example things are “caught” more than “taught”.  Meaning… those watching our example follow more what we “do” rather than what we “say”.  They should both be the same, right?  But many of us say one thing and do another. 

With that in mind, please model a godly life to my boys.  Be a person of character, be honest, have integrity, be respectful, unselfish, and giving.  Give grace, speak life giving words, forgive others, and have self-control. 

I’m not asking for perfection, just hearts in pursuit of God.  As we strive to know Him more each day, He will help us become a better reflection of Himself to others.

A Special Note to…

Sports Coaches- Please teach my boys that winning isn’t everything!  In life, they won’t always win.  It’s how they respond when they lose that makes all the difference.  Teach them to have the right attitude either way.  Help them understand the power of working together as a team… being a family and caring for each other.  We are better together!  Please look for the good they are doing (and compliment them) MORE than pointing out the bad.  They are motivated MORE by encouraging words than discouraging.

Teachers- Please help my boys love your class and the subject you teach.  Make it fun and memorable.  Get to know my boys personally and they will respond better to your leading.  Don’t just teach them information, help them experience it.  Help them love to learn.

Church Leaders – Please be people of integrity.  Do what you say you will do and be who you say that you are.  My boys and others are watching.  Model a godly life for them.  Chase after Jesus and help my boys catch the fire of God from you.  Create opportunities for my boys not to just learn ABOUT God, but to experience Him personally.  Pray for them, speak wisdom into their lives, and be Jesus with skin on for them to see.

These are simple words from a mom’s heart.  They are motivated and inspired from my desire to not just raise good boys; but godly young men.  Will you help me?

For other parents reading this and “amen-ing” everything...  WE are key influencers as well.  People are watching, listening, and learning as we live our lives before them.  May we be the kind of people that take notice, build up, and lead well.

With God’s help, this parenting thing is possible and oh, so rewarding!

Living to leave a legacy,

Julie