Are you looking for your Prince Charming? (The List)

Recently I spoke to a group of middle/high school girls on a topic that is near and dear to my heart.  The title of my workshop was… “How to find your Prince Charming and keep him.”   We talked about how to find our “happily ever after” and how we can plan ahead now for an incredible future. 

I reminded them that it is the choices we make today that determines our future tomorrow.   We need to make wise decisions.  Our focus was concerning boys.   I had a lot of fun teaching.  Hopefully I was able to give the girls some things to think about.

Since this has been on my heart lately, I thought I would share it with YOU… my single lady friends.  I know you hate that word… “SINGLE”.  It’s not a bad word friend.  I see it as being “disconnected” from guys (for a season) so you can be fully “connected” to God…. not that guys are bad.  When you are FULLY connected to God, He can do so many amazing things in and through you like no other time in your life.  Savor those moments.

So here goes… Here are some of the secret truths I shared with the gals at my workshop.  I hope you will be challenged and blessed as you read.

Let’s dream a little bit.  Ten years from now where will you be?  What will you be doing?  How old will you be?  Will you be married?  Have kids?  Where will you live?  What will some of your accomplishments be?  What will be important to you?  Where will God fit into your life ten years from now?

For some of you these questions may have been hard to answer while for others it was a piece of cake.  The point in asking all theses questions was to get you thinking about your future.  God has an amazing future planned for you!  Do you believe it?  Well… He does!

Everyone wants to live “Happily Ever After”, right?  We all want to find and keep our Prince Charming, but how can we really do that?  I have a few ideas that may help you out as you are planning ahead.

MAKE A LIST

How can we find our Prince Charming?  Well, first we need to figure out WHO we are looking for.  What does your Prince Charming look like?  You can start by making a list of qualities you want in the man of your dreams.   Let me give you some ideas… tall, dark, handsome, strong growing Christian, perfect gentleman, funny, smells good, etc…

If you are currently dating someone, it’s going to be harder for you to make a dream list.  Do you know why?  Well, for some odd reason you might be a little biased.  This could alter your list.  Don’t worry, dating doesn’t disqualify you from the things I will be sharing about finding your Prince Charming.  There are still some things you can do to work on your list.  I will be sharing more on this later.

Once you have the majority of your list written, look it over.  Do MOST of these qualities have to do more with the INSIDE or OUTSIDE of your Prince Charming?  Which do you think would be more important?

I want to encourage you to do something crazy when it comes to looking for your Prince Charming with your wish list in hand.  Flip flop your search criteria.  Instead of focusing all on the outside, do the INSIDE OUT search.  Look at the hearts of prospective guys FIRST.

I Samuel 16:7 says… “People look at the outside of a person, but the Lord looks at the heart.”  (NCV)

What’s on the INSIDE of us matters!

But what about attraction and hotness… don’t they matter?  Of course they do, but not as much as what’s on the inside.  When the hotness wears off and what is on the inside shines through, what will you see?

Before I met my husband, I dated a lot of jerks.  For that reason, I chose to “observe” guys more from afar for awhile.  I observed my husband quite a bit.  I was trying to catch a glimpse of his inner qualities and heart without him knowing it.  I wanted to see what was really on the inside with out him trying to impress me and it worked!  

I found lots of godly qualities I liked... his passion for God, he was a person of integrity, he was kind and sweet, compassionate, full of life (joy), he forgave quickly and said he was sorry when something was his fault, he had a gentle spirit with me, he was giving, had a servant's heart, was bold, fearless, full of faith, and on and on. The inside out search I did reaped great results.  I was very pleased with this boy!

For those who are currently dating, I want to challenge you to OBSERVE… observe how he talks to his momma (it’s how he may talk to you some day if you get married.), observe what kind of people he hangs around, how he talks to others, what he talks about MOST, and what he likes to do in his free time.  These will give you glimpses into his heart.

My Story

Just after my senior year of high school, I was inspired to write my own wish list for the man of my dreams.  Actually I wrote it more out of offense than inspiration if you really want to know.

One Sunday I heard a bunch of younger girls at my church talking about how they had made “their” Prince Charming wish list at a slumber party.  I was a tad bit offended.  “…how dare they make a list about their future spouse when clearly I was closer to getting married than they were...”

That night I set a date with my best friend to have a slumber party of our own so we could make our own list.  My friend wrote out my list (while I daydreamed about it) and I wrote down hers.  We stayed up as late as it took to get everything written down.  When we were all done, I had a whopping 64 things written down on my list!!!  (I guess I was picky in my young age… LOL).  I later narrowed down my list to 50 things.  I used it as a guide to match prospective guys up to it using initials, fractions, and the date to camouflage true identities.

Later when my husband and I started dating seriously I matched him up to my list and you will never guess what he scored.   He scored 49 out of 50! What’s crazy is that it totally could have been 50 out of 50 easily… it just would have cost him a little money… LOL. 

As I was thinking about a potential future with Al Davis, God reminded me of something.  At the top of my wish list it said “PERFECT” Spouse list.  God wanted me to know that He gave me everything I ever wanted in Al Davis, but I needed to remember that he wasn’t perfect.  This was one of the ways God confirmed to me that “HE” was the one for me.

I want to encourage you to MAKE A LIST and use it as a prayer guide for your future mate.

I started praying for my future husband my senior year of high school BEFORE I ever made a list.  I heard someone at my youth group mention how we should do it so I started.  I prayed God would protect him, keep him safe, and if he didn’t know God that he would be drawn to Him.  I prayed as God directed me. 

I found out years later when I met my husband that it was our senior year of high school (we are the same age) that he attempted to take his own life.  One night he had determined that he was going to drive his car over a steep ravine and end it all.  That night he set out to do it, but at the last minute he changed his mind.  He slammed his brakes and turned the car quickly leaving a huge mark on the side of his car from the side rail.  He instead drove to a church down the road, talked to a youth pastor there, and gave his life to God.  Thank you Jesus!  I honestly believe it was my prayers that made a difference that day!

What’s going on with YOUR Prince Charming?  What could you begin now praying for him about?  Start praying now for your future spouse.  Your prayers make a difference!  Mine did!   

Start looking around you for godly men with amazing hearts.  They are out there friends.  Do your search from the INSIDE OUT!  You won’t be sorry.

How can you find your Prince Charming… MAKE A LIST!  

Why don't you get your paper out and start writing now.

To find out more tips on "How to find your Prince Charming"... be watching for the next post coming soon (Part 2... The Heart).

Living to leave a legacy,

Julie