A Letter to the Prodigals

Hello Prodigals.  It’s been awhile since we’ve talked or even seen each other.  I miss you.  I have so many fond memories of our times together.  I understand why you left, but things haven’t been the same without you.  I hope you are doing well.  The last time I saw you, you seemed so lost.  When I looked into your eyes it felt as though I could see into your soul and it was empty. 

My heart ached to fix things for you, but there comes a point when this God thing has to become real and personal to you.  You have to own it!  God is amazing and oh so real!  I know this first hand.  He has met me at my lowest moments and in my darkest hours.  He has carried me through so many things.  I don’t know where I would be without Him.  He has filled up all of the empty spots of my life.  He has wrapped me in His love and overwhelmed me with His peace.

I have shared my life with you (in good times and bad).  My faith in God has been messy, but genuine. I have been available to answer questions, pray for you, and be there when you needed me.  You have been in my thoughts and prayers.  Regardless of my efforts, ultimately the choice was yours.  I understand your decision, but I beg you to change your mind.

You were hurt, felt judged, disappointed, and confused.  You felt forgotten, unappreciated, and unnoticed.  You felt far from God while you made efforts to move closer to Him.  Enough was enough.  Things did not pan out the way you expected and you gave up… you walked AWAY from God.  When you needed Him most where was He?  You never felt Him, yet others did.  You felt all alone.

I beg you to “remember”.  Remember when you experienced Him for the first time.  Remember how you felt when you first sensed His presence wrapping around you.  Remember the peace He poured over your heart during those difficult times.  Remember when you read the Bible and it came alive to you.  Remember when He answered your prayers and used you to touch someone else for Him.  Remember the youth retreats, camps, conventions, radical worship times, and powerful services.  Remember the people around you that inspired you by their own walk with God.  He was real to you at some point.  You were drawn to the reality of God and you wanted more.  You were hungry for the things of God.  Remember?

When I think of you and remember my heart is sad.  I don’t want you to walk around empty, lonely, and hopeless anymore.  I want you to find your purpose in God and experience His life-changing touch.  I want you to be all He desired you to be and more.  I want you to walk in His destiny for your life.  I want you to be happy again… to have that inner joy down deep that circumstances can’t steal away.

Your time with God was one of the happiest times of your life.  Remember?  You felt the most fulfilled during this time.  It’s because God was filling up all the empty crevices of your life with His presence.  His peace poured over you and His love was so tangible in your life.  Everything felt right with Him at the center of your heart and life.

I don’t know what pushed you over the edge enough to walk away for good.  Maybe it was adversity, difficulty, or unexpected circumstances that occurred beyond your control.  Difficult times can cause anyone to give up.  Bad things happen.  I know that full well.  My life hasn’t been perfect.  I have faced unexpected circumstances beyond my control on numerous accounts that have stretched me beyond my limits.  It was tough.  I felt weary, spent, and overwhelmed.  I was at the end of my rope.  In the midst of my pain, I didn’t know where else to go, but to God.  I reached out His direction and I was surprised by His response.

Each time I ran to God in my moments of despair and heartache God’s peace immediately followed.  It’s what I needed most.  His presence was felt instantly and His love surrounded me.  Even though I didn’t understand the Why’s of life, I ran to my constant source of strength, God, to see me through.  I have faced a lot of adversity over the years and I must confess that God has never disappointed me each time I have chosen to run to Him instead of AWAY from Him.

I know you have been AWAY from Him for awhile, but I challenge you to come home.  Reach out to Him… He misses you so much!  I know it will be hard.  You will feel weird.  You are scared, but imagine your life turned back over to Him.  How different would things be and for the better?  How much more peace could you feel?  Just think about it… your heart full and overflowing with God’s love.  Hearing His voice, feeling His presence, His destiny played out in your life… your life completely fulfilled in Him.

I know the world hasn’t treated you well.  You have experienced pain, heartache, and despair.  I know you might feel broken, abused, or used.  You aren’t the same person as you were before.  That’s okay.  He wants you to come to Him as you are anyways.  I know your life is riddled with trails of bad choices and a life time of regrets.  It’s okay.  Lay them all down at His feet.  All He wants is YOU… as you are, completely surrendered to Him. 

Each day is a fresh start, a clean page with no mistakes… a day full of endless possibilities.  Choose well my friend.  I beg you to “remember” and make a bold step closer to Him.  He is not standing with arms crossed in judgment.  Adjust your spiritual lens.  He is standing expectantly with arms wide open waiting to run to you the minute you turn your head His direction.  He loves you fiercely friend.  Run to Him today.  Pour out your heart to Him.  It may not be pretty, but in a raw and real way connect your heart with His today.

Run to Him when you are confused and it feels like your world is falling apart.  Run to Him when you are grieving from a great loss or celebrating a victory.  Run to Him when you feel all hope is gone and life is pushing you under.  Run to Him when your relationship is falling apart and your heart is broken into a million pieces.  Run to Him when your body is full of sickness and you are fearful of the outcome.  His peace is waiting to envelop you and His presence is waiting to comfort you.  He is as close as the mention of His name… Jesus.

James 4:8 says this…

“Come near to God, and God will come near to you.”

I pray today you will take a step CLOSER to God and watch Him draw near to you.  I love you prodigals and miss you dearly.  Please know I am still here for you.  I’m available to answer questions and pray for you too.  Please consider coming home to God today.  We both miss you terribly.

Love & prayers,

Julie

Life Change

My boys just returned from church camp on Friday.  They joined together with about 250 other teens from all across the state of Indiana.  They played hard during the daytime competing as teams to win challenges and competitions.  Then in the evenings they gathered together to seek more of God during the services.  It was a life-changing powerful week!

The services were a time where teens and adult leaders could focus more on growing in their relationship with God.  There was a guest speaker that shared each night and an extended time of worship.  For those who don’t know what I mean by worship time… it’s like a really good concert that everyone gets into, but its all for God.

As the evangelist shared each night lives were changed in the altars.  People were healed, broken in God’s presence, and set free from everything imaginable.  God became real… up close and personal.  The intensity of hunger for more of God grew each night as the week went on.  The teens pursued God with all of their hearts in surrender.  It was amazing!

It may sound like I was there, but I wasn’t… not this year!!  But, I remember.  I didn’t have the chance to go to camps like this when I was a teen.  I wish I would have had the opportunity.  It would have transformed my life early on.  

I remember the “camp experience” because I was there… as an adult that is.  My husband and I were in full-time youth ministry for 15+ years.  As a result, I have been to roughly 12 life-changing camps as an adult.  I went as a leader to serve, but in the process of serving… God rocked my world!  Never fail… every camp I went to I came home changed!!!

I was changed for the better… God molded me and shaped me, healed my broken heart, and filled me with His presence.  He used me to encourage and pray for others.  He gave me visions and dreams, filled me with boldness, and grew me deeper in my relationship with Him. 

No matter how old I was or how young the teens were, God rocked our world with equal intensity.  I think we were able to focus more on God, because we left the distractions at home.  It’s a lot easier to connect with God on a deeper level when nothing is holding you back or tying you down.  Oh, how I miss those camp days.  I loved it!

I half wished I could have gone to camp with my boys this year as a leader.  It would have been awesome to witness my own baby boys experiencing all the things we helped our teens experience as youth pastors.  I remember those life-changing, world altering moments.  They bring such a powerful transformation to the heart leaving the life radically changed!  So many amazing memories are rolling through my mind now of lives changes as a result of a week at youth camp.

I cannot imagine me as a teen camper.  I was not your typical teenager.  I was quiet, shy, and almost unnoticeable in a room.  I didn’t have a lot of friends because I would have to talk to them and that wasn’t my strong suit.  I preferred small groups over the crowd and quiet over the noise.  I lived in the shadows hoping nobody would notice me.

I was insecure, nervous, and full of fear.  Many gave up on reaching out to me, because I didn’t really respond in way they would notice.  But what they didn’t know was that God was actually doing a lot in me on the inside.

I took the long route when it came to growing in God.  I guess I was hesitant… not skeptical, but cautious.  I didn’t know if I wanted to relinquish complete control of my life to God.  I was a “control freak” in a quiet way.  I didn’t know how to be any other way.  It was scary for me to think about what God might do if I completely surrendered all areas of my life to Him.

It started with a trickle of God’s presence and then it grew to a downpour.  I couldn’t get enough.   I was probably about 15 years old when my interest was peaked.  I went to a large high school.  There were close to 500 students in my graduating class.  In most of my classes at school I didn’t talk to anyone unless the teacher called on me.  I preferred just watching and listening. 

My family and I went to church, but only on Sundays. I watched the youth across the room from where I sat.  They seemed happy, maybe even a tad bit excited about everything.  I didn’t understand why.  They raised their hands and worshiped God with passion during the music time at church.  Then during the preaching they listened intently, taking notes.  I watched them at school to see if they changed.  You know… acted one way at church and one way at school, but they didn’t. 

Two particular students stood out to me from within the group.  They were on fire for God!  They ran ahead paving the way for others to follow their radical example for God.  They worshiped more, prayed more, loved people more, and lived it out for all to see.  They were different!  God’s presence radiated from them.  They glowed of God not just when everything seemed to go their way, but also when they struggled.  I watched to make sure.  They had experienced the real deal with God and I wanted it too!!!

I was drawn to the reality of God in them.  I longed for that kind of relationship with God… that kind of joy.  I wanted to shine for God too!  I had to find a way to get to that youth group.  That had to be where all this life-changing stuff was happening.  I was sure of it!  I was too shy to just go alone, so I set out to find someone to invite me.

I found my opportune moment to get myself invited while I was in the girls’ restroom at school.  I saw a girl in there that I had seen at the church across the room.  I didn’t talk to a lot of people, but I felt comfortable talking to her.  I said “hi” when I saw her and asked her if she went to the same church I did.  I knew she did, but since I was invisible she probably didn’t realize I went there too.  She asked if I went on Wednesdays and I said no.  She immediately invited me.   Woohoo… it worked!  Perfect!  I was so excited in my quiet way. 

When the day finally arrived I was a mixture of excited and nervous all together.  My parents dropped me off at the appointed time and the parking lot was swarming with teens.  I looked around frantically for my new best friend… there she was!  She dragged me around and introduced me to everyone.  Way too much talking for me, but secretly I loved it!  Everyone was so friendly!  I was overwhelmed. 

When the service started I was surprised to see teens leading the music and helping in various parts of the service.  The youth pastor shared a powerful message inspiring the teens in their walk with God and followed it by an altar call… a chance to apply what was shared to your heart.  

Many came up front to pray while others turned around in their chairs kneeling and praying quietly.  The presence of God could be felt strongly.  I watched quietly as God moved upon the hearts of my classmates.  They cried, hugged one another, and laughed together.  It amazed me.  I had never seen anything like this before.

Almost immediately I became a regular at the youth group.  Slowly God began to work in my heart.  The more I applied the messages I heard at youth group, the more I grew in God.  As a result, I started praying each day, reading my Bible, and telling people about God.  Slowly I began stepping out of my shy comfort zone.  I started doing new things (for me) like talking to people on my own.  Little by little God began to transform my life.  Some where during this time, I recommitted my life to God and became serious about following through with my decision.

A couple years of youth group led to more church involvement, graduation from high school, and eventually Bible College where I grew even more.  Bible College pushed me WAY out of my comfort zone.  I learned so much about God’s word, prayer, and living out what I believe.  I was challenged by the lives of other believers who went there and godly professors who led us.  It was a life-changing season for me.

It seems fitting that it was there, in Bible College that I met my husband.  He was one of those fireballs for God.  He has yanked me out of my comfort zone more than once at God’s beckoning and as a result I am not the same. 

I am so radically different today than when I was a teenager.  I’m SO different that old friends from school wouldn’t even recognize me.  God has done some amazing things in me!  

Would you believe God has allowed me to preach in churches, teach a camp full of girls on purity, lead a bunch of women’s groups, and speak at some women’s conferences?  I am even writing a book.  I am shocked at God’s handiwork in my life!  I am not that same shy girl from high school anymore.  God has brought about a life change in me.

It is that same kind of life change that I long for my boys to experience.  God, I pray that they would become who you created them to be.  Release them to run after you, stir up a hunger within them for more, and help them to never be satisfied with anything else.  May their lives be forever changed by your handiwork God.

P.S.

God, would you continue to change me too to become more like You?  May I never stop chasing after you and hungering for more.  You’ve done so much in me so far, I can’t wait to see what else you have in store.  I love this adventure you have me on.  It is amazing!  As I continue to chase after you, may I never be the same!

 2 Corinthians 5:17 says…

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” (NKJV)

I experienced new life in God.  I became a new creation.  If you haven’t experienced this for yourself, you can.  Message me and I can give you more details.  God is the real deal friend.  It’s time for a life change!

Living to leave a legacy,

Julie

"Living with Pain"

Hey faithful followers of this blog.  Sorry for the lack of posting lately.  I have been busy at work writing a book called "Surviving Life's Mud Puddles".  I am hoping to have it completed by the end of June and ready to publish.  I have been test piloting the book this spring with a group of friends at my church to get feedback. I thought you might enjoy reading a portion of their favorite chapter so far.  Enjoy the read.  I am hoping to begin writing on here lots more this summer.  I love you all dearly.

Living to leave a legacy,
Julie

CHAPTER nine

Living with Pain

“…but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.” 

Philippians 3:13 (NLT)

When my boys were little they had this weird fascination with Band-Aids. I couldn’t keep the cabinets stocked with enough of them.  They kept disappearing.   We were constantly running out and I couldn’t figure out why.  As I investigated, I discovered that my boys had been raiding the boxes daily.  They had a unique philosophy when it came to Band-Aids. They thought that anytime they hurt, that a Band-Aid placed on the injured area would immediately heal them and take away all of their pain….interesting concept.

I observed their theory in action several times to try to understand their reasoning.  When they would get a bump, bruise, or scratch, they cried their eyes out and immediately stopped the minute the Band-Aid was placed in position.  Wallahhhh… they were healed!   I wish it were true!  This thinking seems a little silly, but some of us see God in the same light. We hurt and therefore we want Him to immediately put a Band-Aid on it and take all of the pain away.

It is inevitable that we will face pain some time in our lives. It could be the pain of a broken relationship, hurtful words, a miscarriage, financial hardship, disease, death, an injustice, or a physical pain that won’t go away. When we face pain, we can relate most to Jesus and how He felt on the cross. He was willing to suffer and to do whatever it took to build a bridge for us to get to God.  Jesus understands pain.  He can relate. 

There have been many times in my journey that I wished I could put a Band-Aid on my life and see it immediately healed.  It would be awesome to see all the hurt go away in an instant.  It’s a nice idea, but it doesn’t always happen that way. God doesn’t promise to take away all of our pain.  He does promise, however, to walk beside us through all of life’s difficulties and carry us when it’s too hard for us to go on. 

John 16:32-33 says…

“But I'm not abandoned. The Father is with me. I've told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I've conquered the world." (MSG)

Instead of bringing our pain to God, we generally choose to carry it on our own.   Our world is filled with broken people carrying invisible hurts.  We can’t always see the evidence of emotional wounds, but they are just as real as physical injuries.  Pain is pain no matter how it masks itself.  It is harmful and damaging if it is not treated.  

My Better Half...

Recently I was pondering my life… probably because in March I turned a year older.  Getting older tends to make you a little more introspective I guess. Well, in my pondering I realized something cool.  This year marks OVER half of my entire life spent with my husband!!! 

It’s hard to believe.  It seems like just yesterday we were in college dating.  God totally set me up and blessed me with an amazing man of God.  I don’t know how I could have made it the last 20 + years with out him.

As I scan over the past half of my life, I see a lot of good that has happened.  My husband and I graduated from Bible College together.  We tackled full-time ministry as a team ministering to teens, young adults, and a mixture of congregations.  We have added two amazing boys to our family.  We have lived in a variety of locations where we have met some pretty amazing people. 

God has used us in ways we never dreamed possible to do things we never could have imagined.  We have been blessed to be instruments in God’s hands to reach hearts and lives for Him.  Those impacted by our ministry still overwhelm us to this day.  Our hearts and lives have been changed!  My husband and I have laughed together, dreamed together, and cried together.  He is truly my best friend, my soul mate, and the keeper of my heart…my better half!

This half of my life has been amazing for the most part, but not entirely a bed of roses.  We have also faced a miscarriage, financial hardship, I was diagnosed with a debilitating illness, there were challenging moments, unforeseen circumstances, and the like. 

Despite these trying times I have found two things to be true.  
1.  My God has been and will continue to be faithful to me in good times and bad.  2.  My husband has been and continues to be a constant source of strength and encouragement for me all along this journey.  I am blessed on both accounts.

We are a team!  We figure when we join together and add God to the mix… 
all things are possible!   Why not?

As I compare the two equal parts of my life I must confess this second half by far has been the better half!  I’m not saying the first part of my life was horrible or anything, but my faith wasn’t fully developed.  God wasn’t at the core of who I was which made life a lot harder for me.  I struggled with my self-esteem, my life was full of fear, I cared a lot what others thought of me (which was a huge distraction), and I was consumed with pleasing others. 

My faith was second hand… I spent a lot of time watching & listening to what others said about God.  Getting to know God personally for me was a process.  There were moments where God showed up and surprised me with His presence and moments I walked away.  It didn’t really stick for me until my junior year of high school when I was 17. 

God rocked the world of this shy, introvert in such a powerful way that it changed the course of my future.  I began to own my faith!  This new found faith led me to pursue a life tailored by God.   I wanted God’s best for me… no matter what! There was a radical element hidden deep within me even then believing God to do impossible things.

It was only a couple years later that I met my husband.  He was and is to this day a fireball for God.  He intimidated me when I first met him with his passion for God and boldness.  I had never met anyone like him before.  I was drawn to him, yet I hesitated in a sense.

He was loud in every way.  Can you imagine what I was like at that time?  Even though God had rocked me to the core, I was still shy and a little unsure about things.  I was treading forward slowly with my new found faith.  Everything was new to me and sometimes a little scary.

Well, by God’s design guess who He put me with?  …the loud, crazy, bold, and passionate man of God.  J  It’s a cool story I will have to tell you all some time later.  I SO love my life with him.  God has been so good to me in blessing me with this man.  Marrying him was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

My husband is a man of character and integrity.  He loves deeply and lives out His faith.  It’s a first hand kinda faith.   The reality of God active in his life has transformed him!  God’s fruit runs deep within him. 

He covers my insecurities, cheers me on, and loves me fiercely.  Hands down he is the best daddy ever to our two boys.  This second half of my life has been the better half, for sure!

I have discovered in my reflecting back upon my life that I have learned a few things… or at least I hope I have so far in my old age.  God has been molding me and shaping me all along the way.  In fact, my husband has taught me quite a few noteworthy things as well.  These are too good to keep to myself so I thought I would share.  Enjoy!

 Here are some things I have learned from my husband

(There are way too many to name, but here are a few)

~Look for the positive in things and people FIRST

(My husband accidentally married a mostly negative gal… oops.)

~Take time to savor the moments

(Or as my husband chooses to say it, “don’t take this moment for granted”)

~Make memories

(Don’t be too busy to spend quality time with your family.  Memories last a lifetime!)

~Laughter is great medicine

(My husband has kept me laughing through good times and bad.  He keeps my heart smiling.)

~Let boys be BOYS

(My tendency is to protect & shelter, but I guess its ok for my boys to get dirty & play hard… sometimes.)

~Dance your troubles away

(Sometimes my husband randomly invites me to slow dance with him.  Locations have been around the house, parking lots, fast food restaurants, many times in places where you don’t see dancing, he is crazy like that.!)

  It’s medicine to the soul like laughter especially when I am dancing. J

~Imperfection is okay to be displayed

(A messy house shows a life well-lived. It’s not our goal, but occasionally it can be our reality. 

It’s where we live... sometimes people need to see that we are real people too.)

~We all fail at some point in our lives.  Failing doesn’t make you a failure!

 (We can actually fail forward with God’s help and grow from it.)

Be the BIGGER person when conflict arises in a relationship

(Own your part of the problem.  Saying a genuine “I’m Sorry” can go a long way to restore a broken relationship… follow it up by “Will you please forgive me? and watch the healing begin. 

Being healthy is the goal and much more important than being right.)

~Lying breaks trust and trust is hard to earn. 

(Choose honesty every time.)

~Remain a person of integrity even when your character is attacked

and the crowd doesn’t believe you.  

(God knows the truth! In God’s time the truth will be revealed.)

~Believe God to do impossible things

(Even when your faith is wavering and all hope is gone!)

~Become a person of Integrity

(Reflect God well!  Be who you say you are all of the time.)

~Become a person of Excellence

(Let everything you do be done to the best of your ability.  Always leave things better than you received them.  It’s the best way to reflect God to the world and bring honor to His name)

~Quality of life trumps quantity of money hands down any day

(At the end of our days the amount of money we earned won’t matter to us as much as

the life we lived making memories with family and friends or the lack there of.)

~Our priorities dictate our peace

(Healthy priorities lead to a peaceful life.  By God’s design our priorities should be in this order:

God first… our own personal walk with Him should be strong, Our Spouse second…if there is one… stay connected and keep growing your relationship, Our children should be third… if we have them... raise them up in the ways of God leading by example, and then everything else…  Job, sports, friends, etc…

When God isn’t at the heart of who we are, everything else gets out of place

and suffers leaving His peace no where to be found.)

Here are some personal things I have learned with God’s help over the years…

~Our faith-life can’t grow unless it is tested by God

 ~If we call ourselves Christians, there should be evidence to show this

(There should be God-fruit growing in our lives.)

 ~You never really appreciate the gift of life until it is threatened to be taken away from you

  

~We should do two things often…

(Say “I love you” verbally to those we love and wrap them in hugs and kisses) 

Daily doses of these tend to leave lasting impressions on the hearts of those who receive them.

 ~When all hope seems gone and you feel alone… God is there

 ~When messy faith meets a might God lives are radically changed

 ~When hard times come…unexpected circumstances, hardship and heartache, loss and defeat…run TO God not AWAY from Him. 

(Running AWAY from God forfeits His peace, presence, and provision.)

 ~Accountability is good.  We need each other!

(There is safety in numbers.  Accountability protects us from evil and pushes us toward good. 

Find at least two accountability partners to help you keep on track and grow closer to God.)

 ~God doesn’t want my leftovers, He wants my everything!

 ~God’s peace follows as I obey His leading.

 ~God’s timing is perfect

(Even when He doesn’t follow my projected time table.)

 ~God made me on purpose and has a plan for my life.

 ~God’s will isn’t difficult. 

(If I do what I know He wants me to do today, He will lead me naturally to where I need to be tomorrow.)

 ~Faith begins as we step out of the boat of our comfort zone and trust God with the details.

 ~Prayer is simply talking to God like you would a close friend. 

(Fancy words don’t change that.)

  

~The Bible is food for our spirits. 

(With out it our spirit dies.)

~Bitterness grows where un-forgiveness lives. 

(The person affected most by this destructive poisonous venom is the carrier harboring it.)

~Life is short.  Make it count!

(We have all been given an expiration date.  Live with purpose!) 

~A step beyond just living is giving 

(Live to leave a legacy for the next generation.)

It’s been a crazy ride… this life of mine, but I’m in it for the long haul.  I’ve still got a lot of life ahead of me and I want to make it count!   What about you?  What are you doing with the life God has given you?  Choosing God has been the best decision I have ever made.  I truly believe the best is yet to come!

Living to leave a legacy,

Julie

Milestones

My boys and I just returned from a trip to my grandma’s house.  My husband wasn’t able to go with us so I did all of the driving myself.  It was the first time I have driven that far in 9 years since I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease.  It was a long drive that wore me out, but so worth it!  It was a milestone for me!

I am so proud to say that I DID IT!!!!

Why did I make the huge effort to go see my grandma now?  Well, she hit a milestone of her own and I didn’t want to miss it!  My family planned a surprise party to celebrate her 90^th birthday.  Family came from near and far to celebrate her big day.  There were nearly 60 in attendance!

What’s funny is that my grandma didn’t even want to come to the party.  My relatives invited her to a baptism/christening for one of her great grand kids (to trick her), but she wasn’t feeling up to it.  When I talked to her a few days before the event, she told me she wasn’t going.  She didn’t feel well, she thought the weather might be bad, she had company visiting her for spring break (or so she thought), and she didn’t really want to be around a lot of people.  I chuckled inside as I listened.

My uncles tried to coax or guilt her into it, but she would NOT be moved!  She said she had a mind of her own and she didn’t feel like going (later she told me she felt so bad for being mean to them).

The final straw for her that moved her was when my mom and sister who were visiting said they weren’t going to go if she didn’t go.  Knowing she could be keeping others from something so seemingly important to her family changed her mind.  Reluctantly she agreed to go.

The people packed in the surprise location awaiting her arrival.  The look on her face was priceless as she entered the room and realized the party was all for her!   She was definitely surprised!

90 years alive!!!!  That is amazing to me.  If I live to be as old as my grandma, my life isn’t even half over.  I still have a lot of LIFE to live!

It was so good to reconnect with my family while I was there.  I saw cousins I haven’t seen for 10-15 years.  We were all there… the original bunch.  There was a picture posted at the party from when we were all little surrounded around my aunt who later passed away.  We were asked to re-create that moment surrounding my grandma.  I happened to be holding my youngest cousin at the time in my arms.  I chose to hug her instead in the new picture.  

We gave tons of hugs and took LOTS of pictures to record all of our special memories not knowing when we might see each other again.  I took time to give my grandma a lot of special attention.  She was so overwhelmed.  She kept saying she couldn’t believe it and that it all seemed like a dream.  I asked her if she felt loved and appreciated and she said a resounding YES!

As I look over my life, I feel old.  But when I look at my life

in respect to my grandma’s I see a FULL life ahead of me with endless possibilities.

Living to leave a legacy,

Julie