When is it okay to lie?

Here is my latest post from my literature blog for class.  If you are confused... read my previous post.  I hope you enjoy it.

 

I remember reading “Adventures of Huck Finn” at the beginning of my semester with American Literature and really enjoying it. As I was completing my assignments and finishing up discussion questions, one question bothered me. It read…

Huck lies or avoids telling the truth on several occasions. Why does he lie? How do you feel about his behavior?

This was a part of my answer…

I don’t like the fact that he lies, but it seems like it is his way of doing things. He dodges the truth often to keep out of trouble. He seems like he feels telling the truth would only make things worse in the long run. This has worked for him well so far so he continues his pack of lies just to survive.

I am not a big fan of lying. In fact I dislike it SO much that my husband and I have made it a point as parents to really emphasize the importance of always telling the truth with our boys. Lying breaks trust and trust is hard to earn back once it is broken.

Because I don’t want to lie to my kids in any way we take a different approach with the holidays. We have chosen to never “pretend” when it comes to Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy…

Our approach was simple as the kids were little. We simply avoided the subject and waited until they were old enough to ask. It didn’t take long. When they asked we explained that other families liked to “pretend” with their kids. It was their special tradition.

We went out of our way to make sure we didn’t interfere with anyone else’s traditions. This is just what we chose to do. We emphasized that it wasn’t their place to “tell” any kid the truth. When the time was right, their parents would tell them. We NEVER had a problem with them telling anyone after all of these years (my boys are teens now).

Some people told us years ago that we might regret our decision to forfeit the game of “pretending” over the holidays, but we never have so far. We have started some of our own creative traditions as a result which have made the holidays even more special. We have shared with our boys the various historical accounts about Santa and traditions celebrated around the world, but he is not the focus of the season for our family.

Truth is important to us. I will not lie for the sake of lying or because everyone else is doing it. I want the words I speak to count for something. I don’t ever want anyone to question or doubt whether I am speaking the truth or not. I want them to know me as a person of truth.

We are endeavoring to teach our boys the value of truth as teenagers which has been interesting. One thinks if you ask them something like… “Have you brushed your teeth?” that if he doesn’t answer, he hasn’t lied and there are no consequences for his actions. The other thinks you can say whatever you want at times and say, “I’m just teasing” and it isn’t a lie. These are interesting concepts. What is the difference between teasing and lying? Can not telling the whole truth be considered a lie? Hmmm…. something to think about.

In reading Huck Finn it seemed like he only really lied when he was protecting someone else or trying to stay out of trouble. So, when is it okay to lie? As a Christian I tend to filter everything through the lens of the question, what would God think about this?

I believe that if some situation would arise that would make it difficult to tell the truth that God would provide a “way of escape” out of the situation. I can take it or stick with my opportunity to fudge the truth. I can’t say I have always chosen the “way of escape” God has provided, but I have learned how to see that escape path easier now through experience. I have learned over the years the value of honesty and the consequences of not sticking with the truth.

1 Corinthians 10:13 says…

“The only temptation that has come to you is that which everyone has. But you can trust God, who will not permit you to be tempted more than you can stand. But when you are tempted, he will also give you a way to escape so that you will be able to stand it.” (NCV)

The next time YOU are faced with the opportunity to lie, look for “a way of escape.” Think about whether their might be a truthful alternative to using a lie to deal with a particular problem. When it comes to lying we need to remember:

~ the truth ALWAYS comes out eventually

~ once you break trust it’s hard to earn back

~ word gets around pretty quickly who can and can’t be trusted

 

For Huck Finn lying was a way of life, what will it be for you?

Living to leave a legacy,
Julie

Toxic Heart

I am currently taking an American Literature class…. not because I want to of course.  It’s to finish my degree (BA in Biblical Studies).  Yay me!  No… shame on me!  I put this last class off so long that if I don’t finish it this semester, I will have to take several more English classes to meet the current requirement.  My college is consolidating with another college.  Boo!

I have found that balancing everything along with school can be difficult at times.  I have to prioritize time to read and then time to complete my assignments.  One of our newest assignments for the semester is creating and posting on a Blog about literature.  This was my recent post.  I hope you enjoy it!  

 

I read a book recently for class called “Red Badge of Courage” by Stephen Crane.  It was about a young man, named Henry, who enlisted for war and the journey he took in becoming a man.  At the beginning of the story he is very naïve to war and its devastation.  At one point he even retreats leaving his comrades on their own to defend their honor. 

I noticed as the story continued that Henry’s heart started to change.  It hardened.  It filled with anger and rage.  It seemed poisoned by its surroundings and circumstances.  It became so toxic that others started to notice.  “Are you okay, Henry?”  One of his closest friends was concerned.  When Henry retreated, it wasn’t just a physical event.  He retreated in his heart as well.  The guilt overwhelmed him.  Roots were growing inside of him.  Roots of resentment, anger, un-forgiveness, and hatred were taking over his heart and making it toxic.

Have you ever met someone with a toxic heart?  The circumstances or surroundings of their life had poisoned them.  Bad things happen, unfortunate events sweep in and shake us to the core of our being, and things happen that are beyond our control.  Life is messy and unpredictable.  But in the midst of the chaos, we have a choice.  We can keep moving forward or retreat.  The choice is ours.  When we begin to retreat we open the door up for our hearts to become polluted and filled with toxin.

Toxic can be defined as…

Poisonous, harmful or deadly, capable of causing injury or death

In reading the definition of toxic, we see that long term this can be deadly and it’s dangerous to allow the fruit of a toxic heart to linger in our lives.  It’s got to go!

A toxic heart can be recognized by the words that come out of its mouth.  Henry had a religious background.  His mom had strong convictions.  It says in the book that, “She had had certain ways of expression that told him that her statements on the subject came from deep conviction” (Ch. 1).  She also said after he enlisted, “The Lord’s will be done, Henry” (Ch. 1).  He was raised in a home where certain values and principles were held tightly and expressed freely.

 

Henry had to recognize what was in him as he spoke from a toxic heart.  How could he miss the changes occurring on the outside of him? Some times living too close to the problem can blind us to the truth. 

I have heard a scripture in the Bible before that helps clarify this point.

Luke 6:45 says “…for the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” (NIV)

What comes out of our mouths helps others see what is in our hearts! Interesting… I don’t know about you, but I have good and bad days when it comes to what comes out of my mouth.  I don’t know that this scripture is speaking of our off days, but what is deep down inside of us on a daily basis.  It’s what is at the core of who we are.

I am honest enough to say I have suffered from a toxic heart before.  I have allowed offenses by others and the circumstances of life to pollute my heart.  It consumed me, polluted my speech, and changed my personality.  Poison spewed from my mouth as I spoke splattering on those around me.  I was becoming the very thing I detested.  It was only with God’s help that I was able to be free. 

I have a question for you.  It’s a personal one.  Do you have any destructive roots growing in your heart?  Could your heart be toxic?  What is the flavor of your conversation when you speak?  Is it sweet or sour?   Living with a toxic heart is dangerous.  I encourage you to ask a friend or family member today if they have noticed any changes in you lately.  The ability to be free from this is entirely up to you.  I dare you to choose freedom today!

Living to leave a legacy,

Julie

Live YOUR Dash

Recently while I was at a Minister’s Wives retreat I heard this poem and it pricked my heart.

 The Dash

By Linda Ellis copyright 1996

I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone,
from the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read,
with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent YOUR dash?

 

Wow!  What a concept!  Living for the dash…. What will we do with the life we have been given? 

James 4:14 says…

“Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” (NIV)

We aren’t promised tomorrow so we need to be intentional about making today count.  I want my “dash” to count for something.  I want to leave behind a legacy to pass on for generations to come.  I want my life to make a difference for good.  What will you do with your dash?  The choice is entirely up to you.

 

Living to leave a legacy,

Julie

Authentic Faith

I have been pondering the whole idea of “authentic faith” lately.

I looked the definition of “authentic” up in the dictionary and this is what it said… real, true, original, actual, pure, genuine, valid, faithful, and undisputed.

Hmmm… real, true, pure, genuine belief in God…. I don’t know about you, but that’s what I want.  It’s being real with God!

Having “Authentic Faith” is making a life long commitment to living for God…

We make wedding vows for life, right?

Imagine with me back to my wedding day.  I said something like this…

 

"I, Julie , take you, Al , to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; I pledge myself to you."


Vows that we make to our spouses are pretty serious and the commitment we made on that day is intended to be for a lifetime.  Shouldn’t we be just as serious about our commitment to God?  Isn’t it supposed to be a life-long commitment too?

How can we strive to keep this commitment we made to God? 

I have a few ideas for you…

Stay Connected to God

Just like we need to work to stay connected to our spouses to keep our marriages strong, we need to do the same with God.  How do we connect with God?  Through prayer, spending time in the Bible, going to church, and connecting with other believers who love God too.  When we disconnect from these things, we will begin to disconnect from God.

 James 4:8 says…

“Come near to God, and God will come near to you. You sinners, clean sin out of your lives. You who are trying to follow God and the world at the same time, make your thinking pure.” (NCV)

How can we strive to keep this commitment we made to God? 

Remain faithful to God

Give God your complete attention.  Don’t allow the distractions of this world to turn your head away from your “first love”… God.  He wants all of your attention.  He is madly in love with you.  Be faithful to Him.

 Avoid anything that would distract you from giving God your focus:  worldly or negative influences, toxic people, temptations, or old habits.   These things can creep into our lives slowly and before we know it they have consumed our time, energy, and have helped shape us into the person we never wanted to be.  Instead surround yourself with people that will help you grow.  Find people that will inspire you, encourage you, keep you accountable, and help you on your journey to become stronger in God.  You also need to get plugged into a church that will feed you spiritually and help you grow more in God.

Revelation 3:2-3 says… 

^“Wake up! Strengthen what you have left before it dies completely. I have found that what you are doing is less than what my God wants.  So do not forget what you have received and heard. Obey it, and change your hearts and lives…” (NCV)

If you have become distracted and have walked away from your relationship with God, it’s never too late to come back.  “Do the things you did at first” to revive your love relationship with Him.

How can we keep this commitment we made to God?

 

Weather ALL seasons with God

Choose to stick with God in good times and bad.  When we face difficulties with our spouses we aren’t supposed to just walk away and give up on the relationship.  We need to stick together and work it out.  If our relationship and commitment to God is just as important, why do some of us walk away from this relationship when times get hard?

No matter how hard things get, we need to trust God with the details. Give your circumstances to God.  Allow the difficulties of this life to draw you closer to God instead of further from Him.  It is in your darkest moments that God will become your greatest source of strength.

Matt 6:33-34 says…
“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”   “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. “(NLT)

Weathering spiritual storms allows your spiritual roots to grow deeper in God.  It is at these times that we learn to trust Him no matter what.  When we choose to move closer to God during our dark times we gain in return a deeper, more intimate understanding of Him.  Our relationship with God changes and becomes even more personal and real to us.

James 1:2-4 says…

“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.” (MSG)

Make a fresh commitment to God today.  Say this out loud….

 "I,___________    , take you, God, to be my heavenly father, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to your holy ordinance; I pledge myself to you."

Choose to have “Authentic Faith”… be real with God and commit for the long-haul in your relationship with Him just like you would in a marriage.  Your life will never be the same!

Living to leave a legacy,

Julie

"Re-Purposing ME"

I’ve been thinking a lot about goals lately.  I don’t know about you, but setting New Year’s resolutions overwhelms me.  It may be silly, but just changing the word to “goal” makes it sound more attainable for me.  I’m weird like that.

My main goals over the past year have been to get well, finish my book, and get out of debt.  I’ve tried to keep them simple since life has been unpredictable.  My energy level and overall health have kept me from setting other goals.  I didn’t want to be disappointed. It was hard not knowing where I would be health-wise from day to day.  With my health improving, my heart has been stirred to do more this year at being intentional in my goal-setting.

I want this year to be a year of re-purposing my life.  I am fascinated with Pinterest these days.  I am amazed at all the awesome creations you can make or re-purpose from old things lying around the house.  New creations made from the “old” that become even more incredible in the end.  That reminds me of a verse found in the Bible.

 

2 Corinthians 5:17 says…^“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” (NLT)

When we give our lives to God we become a “new” creation.  God gives us a fresh start, a clean page, and a new purpose for living.  The old life is gone… the “old” me is no longer alive… a “new” me has been born.

I have a friend who is beginning a whole new life in 2013.  She gave her life to God just before Christmas.  She is an amazing testimony of how God can come into a lost and broken hearted soul and breathe life.  Her old life is gone… past mistakes forgiven, and she was given a fresh start.  She is NOT the same person!   God has become real.

 

My friend didn’t just learn about God… she met Him personally December 2, 2012 and it changed her life!  God is doing amazing things in her life and I am SO proud of her!  She has a whole new outlook on life.  She is talking to Him all the time, learning about Him, and He is working miracles in her life.  She is a miracle!  Life has now become an adventure.  How exciting!

I encourage you to do as my friend has and make God PRIORITY ONE for your life this year.  If you only know about Him, I dare you to meet Him personally like my friend.  It will change everything.  If you need help… track me down and I am more than ready to help you out.

Many of you know exactly how my friend is feeling because you have experienced this firsthand for yourself.  God was alive and real to you at one point.  Do you remember that moment?  It was amazing and your life has never been the same.  No matter where you are right now in life, God is waiting with open arms.  His love, mercy, and forgiveness await you.

For some 2012 was a rough year for you.  It’s hard for you to even think about 2013.  When unexpected circumstances rock our world and test our faith our relationship with God can become shaky.  No matter what you face, I encourage you to join hands with God and allow Him to walk through it with you.  Allow the circumstances of life to draw you closer to God instead of push you further from Him.  He will be your strength and peace in the midst of life’s storms.

Life can be challenging at times.  My life has taken quite a few unexpected twists and turns along the way.  It hasn’t been easy, but I have learned through the process that if I hold tightly onto Jesus I can make it through anything.  He has been and will continue to be my all sustaining strength.

God can do amazing things with hearts completely surrendered to Him.  He is the master of re-purposing things.   I am taking 2013 to focus on “Re-purposing Me.”  I want to make God priority one in every area of my life.  I know a life totally surrendered to God could accomplish more than anything I could do without Him.  I want to walk in His will, be who He called me to be, and do what He called me to do.  I give Him complete control of every area of my life and I look forward to the journey that this year will bring. 

I challenge you to start re-focusing your life on God today.  When we give God first place in our lives, He takes care of the rest.  Trust Him with YOU this year and you won’t be disappointed with the outcome!  Make this year your best year ever with God!  365 days totally committed to God = one life changed forever!  Let it be yours!

 
Living to leave a legacy,

Julie