With my recent hospital stay being 15 days (in a lot of pain) and about 45 days in the hospital this year so far, I thought I would share some insights I've gained on how to minister to the sick. Not only have I been sick a lot over the years, but I know a lot of people who struggle with their health and even some that are homebound.
Side note: For those who followed the online journey of my hospital stay recently. Thank you for the prayers. They were felt and made a huge difference. I also want you to know that God was faithful and very present in the midst of all of my suffering. He did unexpected miracles. I will share more about that at a later time.
I thought I would share some helpful tips that may help as you minister to your friends or loved ones. This is geared toward the church going crowd, but can be adapted to fit anyone. If you are one of my friend’s who struggles with being homebound or have ongoing health issues, please add anything else that I may have missed or that would be helpful in the comments below.
TIP #1: REACH OUT PERSONALLY
3 WAYS TO REACH OUT:
MESSAGE THEM
(Whether it be a text or direct message on social media)
Send a text or message of encouragement to them. Keep it short and sweet. “Thinking of you today”, “Praying for you”, “Love and miss you”, etc… or you could simply send them an encouraging picture or GIF. When your loved one is in the hospital or extremely sick, sending written out prayers to them via text or direct message can be very impactful. It helps them feel your prayers even more.
Note: Don’t send messages to them saying… “sending good vibes or happy thoughts”. Those feel like empty words to sick people. They need to know you are really praying for them. Prayer makes all the difference!
Also, don’t leave voicemail messages. Sick people don’t always have the opportunity to listen to messages or even call people back. In most cases, they can respond to a text or direct message a lot easier. When I was in the hospital, I responded to texts as I was able. If I was unable to do so, at times my husband would read them to me and respond for me. I remember when my dad was in the hospital (in a semi-conscious state before he passed away), that I read all the Facebook messages that people sent to him out loud for him to hear one by one. I could tell he was listening and it really blessed him. The written word shared (from the heart) brings healing to those that are sick.
SEND A CARD
Send those that are sick cards periodically to let them know you miss them, you are praying for them, and they are loved. I encourage you to don’t just sign your name to the card, write them a little note letting them know you are thinking of them and praying for them. It’s a visual reminder to them that people love them and really do care.
SEND A GIFT
If you feel led to do so, send a gift. Anything that will bring a little sunshine to their day and room. Life gets dreary when you are stuck in the same place all the time. Flowers, balloons, candy, etc… are great gifts. They help change the atmosphere for a moment and can bring a smile to the faces of those that are sick.
TIP #2: CONNECT WITH THE FAMILY
Stay informed. Check in with the family to see how things are going with the one that is sick and with their family members. Sickness takes a toll on everyone.
Listen, watch, and ask if they have any needs you could help meet. In most cases they are weary. They just need some of the weight lifted for a while, so they can catch their breath and truly rest. They generally don’t know their needs, until you suggest something. Think of things like bringing food or planning a food train, maybe they need a dog sitter, lawn care, or rides to doctor appointments, etc… Bless them as God leads you.
TIP #3: CARE BEYOND THE CRISIS
After you’ve prayed, sent cards, messages, and gifts, you might consider taking it a step further. Make a call or visit. Be sure you check with the family first to see if it would be a good idea. Timing is important. When it comes to visits, never just show up. Set up a time that would be best for the family and don’t go there empty handed. Bring something with you to give to them. It makes things less awkward when you arrive. Bring a card, food, gift, flowers, etc… Something to bring some more sunshine to their day.
VISITS:
Don’t stay long for your visit (20 minutes is a good goal, if you need a time limit). Stay just long enough to talk to them for a few minutes to see how they are doing and let them know you are praying for them. Be sure to ask them how you can be praying more specifically for them. If you get a chance, try to pray for them personally before you leave.
Good small talk questions to ask when you are there:
Is today a good day for you health-wise?
How can I be praying more specifically for you?
Is there anything I can help you with?
Would you like me to come over and sit with you some time (watch tv, talk, etc…)?
Note: Don’t get too personal with your questions. They may not feel comfortable sharing some things with others.
Random small talk topic ideas to discuss:
Weather- homebound and hospital bound patients don’t see outside very much. Sometimes sharing how the week has been weather-wise is an easy topic to discuss.
Food- ask what meal they like at the hospital or what favorite meals they like at home. If they are unable to eat solid food at all, avoid this subject altogether.
Events- share about recent events you’ve been a part of that they may have missed. It gives them a chance to ask you questions and feel like they are a part in some small way.
TV- what they are watching on tv or favorite series they follow are always good topics. It lightens the mood and gives them something fun to talk about.
Your life- share what’s going on in your life. When the spotlight is off of them and on to you, it can make them feel more at ease. Share new things going on in your life… things you’ve done, places you’ve gone or plan to go to, your work, family, share stories, etc…
CALLS:
Calls are actually harder I think to do than visits, because you can’t actually see them in person. It can feel more awkward at times. If you decide to call, keep it very short. Just let them know you’ve been praying for them and see if there is anything specific you can be praying with them about. Pray personally with them if you get the chance. Since you can’t really see how they are doing, it’s harder to carry on small talk. At most, you may be able to ask them if they have anything you can help them with or have any current needs.
TIP #4: FIND WAYS TO INCLUDE THEM
Everyone wants to feel useful and like they have purpose. Look for ways to give those you know who are sick opportunities to be helpful. Find ways to make them a part of what is happening in some small way. I have a friend that was sick (and as a result homebound) who found purpose in a creative way. Since she couldn’t go to church in person and had to watch online, her church asked her to be a host for one of the online services. Her job was to welcome everyone, ask for prayer needs, and pray with people as God led her. What a blessing she was to all that attended with her online. The point is, look for ways to help give those that are sick value and purpose. Find a way to help them feel like they belong and have a place to serve. One way you could do this is by inviting them to help you do something that you could do yourself. Including them will help them feel a part in a small way, your company will encourage them, and the whole thing will give them purpose.
I hope in some small way that all of this is helpful for those of you who have friends and loved ones that are sick. I know you love them. These simple tips are meant to help you know how to love them better while they are sick. Thank you friends and family for loving me so well while I have been sick. I love and appreciate each and every one of you.
Living to leave a legacy,
Julie
